Myst online is at an end,
but what of Kadish, our old friend?
Surely he would like a say
if he wasn't dead and much decayed.

He wrote an Age, one so grand,
that he couldn't simply let it stand.
He built a contraption to make it spin,
and show us it's history from start to end.

And then because he wasn't sane,
he made us link again and again,
until we were so sick of linking
that a lot of us started drinking.

We kick the quabs, we break the trees,
we float through space, where there is no breeze.
And then we try to go to four,
and find out we cannot go more.

We get some help, and reach the fourth,
A statue of Kadish we unearth.
Our friend linked away as it turned,
and we search Kadish's office for what we earned.

I solved Ahnonay, and I feel hurt,
for all I got was this lousy Pub shirt.

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KI 12339845
"I have faith in nothing but this: when the Universe collapses and dies, there will be three survivors - Tyr Anasazi, the cockroaches, and Dylan Hunt, trying to save the cockroaches." -- Tyr Anasazi, Andromeda

LOL, love this thread! Awesome work Nerf! and the rest of you, as well


:squish: :hugs:

_________________
Uru will always live on in the hearts and minds of Explorers.

Toria! /wave Great to see you posting again! We have missed you...:squish: I am sorry it may have been the bad news that brought you back. Would you like to tell us about it in bad poetry form? I would be happy to stretch the category to include it from you and from others, because I myself cannot say the things I want to say right now in any way other than bad poetry form for some reason...maybe because it is like being dumped by your second boyfriend. The first time, the ache is so profound that raw emotion spills over like red ink onto a naked page to create something startlingly true and almost accidentally beautiful..the second boyfriend it's more like: "oh h*ll, ouch, yeh, oh well, lie on the couch, meh" see...not quite the same quality of pain..

Now, Zimt - I am going to have to chastise you and tell you that you came very close to being disqualified as your poem nearly crosses over to actually being good.

However, I reviewed it again for the second time once more and I have decided to let it stand on the basis of this line: "we float through space, where there is no breeze." To contemplate all the magnificent, profound and mysterious qualities of space and then to choose to describe it more or less as "slightly annoying" is the quintessence of lame. You rock!

;squish:

nerfy

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Language is that highly evolved, complex and sophisticated system whereby one human being blorfloogs with another.

Nyrphame wrote:

Now, Zimt - I am going to have to chastise you and tell you that you came very close to being disqualified as your poem nearly crosses over to actually being good.

However, I reviewed it again for the second time once more and I have decided to let it stand on the basis of this line: "we float through space, where there is no breeze." To contemplate all the magnificent, profound and mysterious qualities of space and then to choose to describe it more or less as "slightly annoying" is the quintessence of lame. You rock!

;squish:

Oh, good. I started to say "where it's hard to breathe", but it didn't rhyme with "trees" as well. Or maybe that would have been better? It's hard to write bad poetry when your mom is a high school English teacher. I did my best to make sure the meter was awful, at least.

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KI 12339845
"I have faith in nothing but this: when the Universe collapses and dies, there will be three survivors - Tyr Anasazi, the cockroaches, and Dylan Hunt, trying to save the cockroaches." -- Tyr Anasazi, Andromeda

Oh alright Nerf, you twisted my arm,
to write an awful poem
about my Relto and the trees
and the birds and the bees.

I do miss those jumps
and those silly thumps in the city
and those dances on the rooftop
and that crazy Mushroom smell on that dock.

Those chats under the roof in Kemo
did satisfy something most divine
and those attempts at that darn rock
did make my head hurt, and fingers ache

But what really makes me cry
are all the friends who've gone bye bye
Thought the ages we went
and through the portals we tried.

Man, it was a fun time
Quite divine, in fact.

_________________
Uru will always live on in the hearts and minds of Explorers.

Thank you for your entry, Toria. I think it does qualify as a very good example of bad poetry, even if the sentiments expressed are good. Nicely done!



:squish:

nerfy

_________________
Language is that highly evolved, complex and sophisticated system whereby one human being blorfloogs with another.

Nyrphame wrote:

Now, Zimt - I am going to have to chastise you and tell you that you came very close to being disqualified as your poem nearly crosses over to actually being good.

Nyah, nyah, nyah!

Mine was the worst, though, right? Huh? Right, huh?

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OpenUru.org Minkata Test Shard is
OU-Minkata Shard Testers Guide (in laymen's terms)

Dahn wrote:

I Cannot Elephant

I am a quab
I can scurry left and right
I can also jump but not with great height
I can go forward too
Nevertheless, there are many things which I cannot do
Like operate that stapler when there are more than 20 pages
or use the telephone when it's plugged into the world's widest word
or wash the dishes with a spoon
or get the last bit of ketchup out from the bottom of that gelatin bookshelf
or turn the light off with seven plain feathers
or disentangle a paperclip
or write a poem
I jump into the water because I cannot elephant

Simply Awsome.

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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. - Douglas Adams

This is sooooo funny. Great idea Nyrphy!

The world as seen from a Quab

I am a squabbely, crabbely, quabelily Quab
my clickering sounds are just silly rap.
Things look funny with three eyes
but when the explorer comes my fear arises.
Sideways I quab trying to find a gap
then doing my suicidal jump into water I disappear.

Turning spheres

My bud passed by and asked me
if I could help on his Ahnoney.
"Sure!" I said and followed him
to do the sphery spinning.
We both didn't know what to do
but tried and failed as we went through.
Touch cloth, link out from his side
run around, link from my side.
More run, more touch, more link
than ending up at watery again
having found no fourth.
Ahnoying this is, he says and leaves
while my head is still reeling.

(*Note: Did some misspellings intentionally*)

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Whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open.

Hitana Jadurian (GW)

All the poems so far have been in English. That's not very fair to the internationals, is it? To rectify the situation, I present:

Das Lied der Ahnoneien

D'ni, D'ni über alles,
Über alles in der Welt.
Das ist vy Ahnoneibuilte,
Zu schoeoffen Kädischgeld.
Von der Mist bis an die Wasser,
Üterspaze, Statüveldt,
D'ni, D'ni über alles,
Über alles in der Welt.

Kvaben, Menschen, Ningetreuen
Sind gesens' mit Maschin' lang.
Ven die Spheren start zu möven
It kreate eine Klang.
Den du go zu Kathedrale,
Woher ist Gang der Ganggang.
Kvaben, Menschen, Ningetreuen
Sind gesens' mit Maschin' lang.

Eine, vier und zwei und drei.
Eine ist das Wasserland!
Säyin das ist Garternei.
Kan teimtravel? Nein, du kan't!
Eine, vier und zwei und drei.
Üse pellet von Er'kant.
Nau du finisch Schellepathe.
Late, miß Yeescha, nau du rant.

If anyone wants a translation be sure to let me know.

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Random fact of the day!

Last edited by Gorobay on Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:13 pm; edited 3 times in total

Gorobay wrote:

All the poems so far have been in English. That's not very fair to the internationals, is it? To rectify the situation, I present:

Das Lied der Ahnoneien

D'ni, D'ni über alles,
Ãœber alles in der Welt.
Das ist vy Ahnoneibuilte,
Zu schoeoffen Kadischgeld.
Von der Mist bis an die Wasser,
Üterspaze, Statüveldt,
D'ni, D'ni über alles,
Ãœber alles in der Welt.

Kvaben, Menschen, Ningetreuen
Sind gesens' mit Maschin' lang.
Ven die Spheren start zu moven
It kreate eine Klang.
Den du go zu Kathedrale,
Woher ist Gang der Ganggang.
Kvaben, Menschen, Ningetreuen
Sind gesens' mit Maschin' lang.

Eine Sphere und zwei und drei:
(Eine ist das Wasserland!)
Säyin das ist Garternei.
Kan teimtravel? Nein, du kan't!
Eine Sphere und zwei und drei:
Ãœse pellet von Er'kant.
Nau du finisch Schellepathe.
Late, miß Yeescha, nau du rant.

If anyone wants a translation be sure to let me know.

ROFL! my first thought reading this was California Ãœber Alles by the Dead Kennedys

Great (er...Horrible) work my friend!

_________________

And now for our Italian friends:

Inno d'Anoni

Fratelli di D'nia
arrivio l'Anonia,
The helmeto di Cadiscio
replaciti by giacheta.
How isa Gravittoria?
Nonsensi vogondola!
The schiavi (the bahri)
confusio did creó.

Join amichi in coorte.
Isa time for quabi morte!
Isa time for quabi morte!
A bahro cava we will gó!

Join amichi in coorte.
Isa time for quabi morte!
Isa time for quabi morte!
A bahro cava we will gó! Sí!

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Random fact of the day!

Last edited by Gorobay on Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:22 pm; edited 1 time in total

Hitana! Two unbearable submissions! I actually felt myelf getting stupider as I read them. Way to go. However, two demerit points and and a smelly dead quab for telling us your spelling mistakes were intentional - thereby nullifying the effect of their lingering awfulness.

Gorobay - What can I say? I think we need no translation (please, please no!). I can imagine the German poem being spoken aloud (do not try this at home!) and I want to run screaming from the room at the very idea. But it is your Italian poem that I think really encapsulates the true spirit of Vogonization. Perhaps the Cavern Choir would like to set this to music? After all, if there is anything more vogonizable than poetry, it surely has to be opera! Who wouldn't enjoy a rousing chorus of "Isa time for quabi morte!" , I ask you. (And don't say, "Most of us". You know you would love it!)

Cavern Choir...are you listening?

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Language is that highly evolved, complex and sophisticated system whereby one human being blorfloogs with another.

Quote:

I can imagine the German poem being spoken aloud

It is meant to be sung, as is the one in Italian. This next song is in Russian, but I transliterated it for ease of reading.

The Intersphéricale

Aris, yu rezidents ov D'niy.
Yu khav t al' liv in a kev;
But vyy kan razum liv in Garterniy
By gryas ov Groer Kadishev.
Dat vorld destryod'ya a lon' tim' ago,
T faundashchon'ya, a, but den
It vas tu erliy for postmortem,
Dat anchent vorld yest' bakh agen!

KHORUS:
Eto yest' nash Anoniy
I nash kvabs i ning triys.
S Intersferikalom
De D'niy vil aris!

Khir yest' de first sfer, ful ov vater'ya
Den fog, i star', i den statoy.
It sims t biy al' tim'travelya
But it kod biy yust trikeroy.
Kadishev sims t biy kuyt nervos
Ven vyy al' sey vyy vant t svim.
Lik khyy khaz somting t khid' from os.
I vondar vat's got intu khim!

KHORUS

Onliy vyy, vriters ov al' de vorld,
S khevtii i garo,
Khav got de ryat t Anoniy.
No parazity, lik baro!
I if de terifya'ing tundar rols
I if de blu litning gos by,
Vyy kan go t sfer numbar von',
Ver solnitse shinet alvey.

KHORUS

If you want to sing along, here's the tune. It has a alternate set of lyrics along with the music, so you'll just have to sing that much louder!

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Random fact of the day!

Last edited by Gorobay on Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:23 pm; edited 1 time in total

I am at awe in front of such grandiose talent

Quote:

I find the end, another room
and soon my friends join me
a few buttons pushed (most of them mine)
and someone steals my shirt.
I press the cloth and discover
(much to my distress)
I missed a cloth somewhere out there
Oi! this is such a mess!

I climb back in to that seat
and take a little trip
I open up my KI to check and see
what somebody sent to me
and when I turn around in my seat
I fall a few thousand feet!
and the final words my friends hear from me
"Screw youuuu Kaaaadiiiiisssshhhhhh!"

The last verse is like, uh, you know, .... hysterical

_________________
Ethan the Bahro Boy - MO:ULagain KI# 4988
---Blessed are those who laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused---