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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:34 pm 
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Instead of getting all emotional and leaving, or saying your are leaving, or talking about leaving...let's get creative..

In honor of the Ahnohnay Vogondola, and in honor of Vogon's everywhere, I say put your emo where your keyboard is - set your passion free - voice your pain - give us your worst!

The loser will be the winner - or vice versa. The prize? The honor, the glory, the pure, crystalized joy of being First of the Worst! But who knows, maybe Cyan will even sponsor a 'Design the MOUL's WORST POET' T-Shirt" contest and give your avi a T-Shirt. And if they don't? Why, fuel for more bad poetry, of course! What could be better?

Who will judge the contest? We all will! Yay! Who better than a jury of people whose poetry is so much worse than yours they won't even post it???

Here are two awful, Ahnohnay-inspired (if you want to call it that) poems to give you an idea...you can be short or awful, or excruciatingly lengthy and awful, it is all up to you!

Awful Ahohnay-Inspired Poem #1


"Quabs, quabs, everywhere
Mutter, mutter, mutter
I got a scheme
For making steam
But I ain't gots no butter."

"Odeworthy Ahnohnay Waterfullishness - An Ode"

"Oh splendid falls of water
Wetness, a bunch of it, in a downward motion
And high, quite a bit higher actually than I am used to.
Thank goodness no one else can fit here in this control thingy.
I am feeling a bit sick, honestly.
And I may throw up, paradoxically in a downward motion.
My plans were to see if there was a way to get up to the top of that waterfall
But I might get dizzy, or wet, and then, a chill or perhaps a fever?
And then a fall! Obviously, in a downward motion.
Perhaps I should just stay here playing with this lever.
Oops, I thought that would be easy, too!
But now all that back and forth commotion (even though not in a downward motion)
Is making me feel queasy too!
Which raises the question...Am I even well enough to climb?
Am I hale?
Perhaps, I should try this another time?
Do I look pale?
But I really do want to see what is over on the other side of those falls
But what if I fail?
Oh, how the eternal question galls!
To scale or not to scale?"


You think you can do better? Well, don't!

:squish:

nerfy

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Last edited by Nyrphame on Sun Feb 01, 2009 4:01 am, edited 5 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 3:51 pm 
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Location: Seattle, WA
[spoiler]
I solved Anhonay
And all I got
Was a case of Quabs.
Image
[/spoiler]

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:57 pm 
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ROFL :lol: I want a shirt like that!

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:43 pm 
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Location: Seaaaaaattle
Haha, those are great poems, nerfy! I mean.. erm.. terrible! Yes, terrible.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 10:36 pm 
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Location: Germany
Ahnonay oh Ahnonay

Sittin' on the dock of the bay
of Ahnonay
Watching my towel floating away
The current a drifting millstream
Stream streaming
Beam beaming
Quabs quabing
A sting!
Oh you squishy squashy stinger
you bit me
You ugly bugly quabquab
Blood is drippin' of my finger
Lonesome me towelless stranger
Never ever push again
Any dreaming lever

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:32 am 
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Oh those are awfully beautiful, Eleri and Corvus! I mean beautifully awful!
/clap /clap /clap

Come on, the rest of you...whenever did you see a contest like this that was so easy to enter, as it requires no talent whatsoever?!

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:45 am 
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Location: Seaaaaaattle
Crushin Crustaceans
Crackin Crystalline Constructs
Consoles Cruddy Countenance
Cookies Consumed Consequently


/bow

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 6:27 am 
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wow, Mj - that was not just really bad, it really was sincerely bad!

Congratulations!

/cheer

nerfy

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:58 am 
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Location: Auckland, New Zealand
I Cannot Elephant

I am a quab
I can scurry left and right
I can also jump but not with great height
I can go forward too
Nevertheless, there are many things which I cannot do
Like operate that stapler when there are more than 20 pages
or use the telephone when it's plugged into the world's widest word
or wash the dishes with a spoon
or get the last bit of ketchup out from the bottom of that gelatin bookshelf
or turn the light off with seven plain feathers
or disentangle a paperclip
or write a poem
I jump into the water because I cannot elephant


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 3:27 pm 
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Thank you for your submission D'ahn. That was truly vile! I bow to your truly minute talent!

/bow

:squish:

lurv

nerfy

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 4:13 pm 
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Ode on the Mammoth Statue of Kadish, Weighing Over 7000 Tons
(with apologies to James McIntyre (1827-1906).

I have seen thee, King of Dome,
Looming tall in your dark home,
You make me feel small as a gnome
Or roaches on my linoleome.

I search your Age with fine-tooth comb
I leap from dome to dome to dome
I paw through journal and old tome
And swim across the fake sea foam.

And when I've reached your dusty home
To steal the shirt you left alone
And use that (CENSORED) Bahro stone,
You'll hear my awful Kadish pome...
AND LIKE IT.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 4:55 pm 
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Location: Digging around in the dusty archives, uncovering Uru history.
Scoot, scoot, swim, scoot another,
touch, scoot, scoot, turn;
Smash, smash, walk, smash another,
touch, smash, smash, turn;
Music, ahhh, oops, link, link,
touch, link, link, turn;
And back, oops, link, link, turn, pull, swim, run,
touch, link, link, turn;
Return, run,
touch, link, link, turn;
Return, run, collect, run,
touch, link, link, turn;
Again... link, link, turn,
return, run, collect, yay;
Rest, recruit, return, swim, turn,
thanks, touch, pull, link, link;
Return, pull, open, ride,
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee;
Collect, code, enter,
touch, window, ooh, ahh,
Link, link, statue, ooh, ahh,
return, portal, wedge;
Rest, recruit, return, cave,
screenie, thanks, link, link...

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:00 pm 
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Oh, this thread is really starting to vogonize now!

belford - you have a way of stretching a rhyme beyond human endurance that is positively masterful!

and Tail'ahr -- your nifty method of turning crib notes into poetry makes me want to recommend that any explorer wanting to tackle the age should memorize this, except I fear the consequences to healthy brain cells.

Bravo!

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:32 pm 
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Water. Water everywhere
but do I dare drink the stuff?
and quabs, those precious things
they just won't go away!
I try to swim and find I can't
what am I to do?
I tried to fly but that fell through
oh what in the world am I to do?

I swear I heard the quabs laughing
when I asked them for help.
You wretched creature on that island
I will get you yet!
And then I see, those stupid rocks
and make my way to them.
I take a leap and HOLY GEEX!
That waters REALLY COLD!

However, vindication is mine!
I link back; that water is too cold
and link a few more times
and link a few more times
and link a few more times
and crash a few times more
And that water is REALLY COLD!
and now my leather jacket is ruined.

Finally after hypothermia
is fully settled in
I find a cave of wonder
so where's the genie, and the carpet?
or maybe the trolls.
Troll would be nice, I like trolls.
I can't figure this thing out
Maybe I'll ask a friend.

I try to use my KI to call
when I discover it's been borked.
Again I wish I hadn't come here
and swam in this blue lagoon.
I smash my KI against the wall
until I hear it beep - Incoming Message
who is it from? my Shadow friends?
Have they come to help?

I link again to get my friends
and link again to this blasted cave
and link a few more times
and link a few more times
and link a few more times
and crash a few times more
This is getting old I tell you
Like Kadish's bones in Tolesa old.

Finally we make it through
that impossible door (of doom)
and there's a chair, curious indeed
a throne to watch a kingdom of water.
I take a seat and to my suprise
the seat takes me instead!
down and out and there to see
a waterfall is surrounding me!

I find the end, another room
and soon my friends join me
a few buttons pushed (most of them mine)
and someone steals my shirt.
I press the cloth and discover
(much to my distress)
I missed a cloth somewhere out there
Oi! this is such a mess!

I climb back in to that seat
and take a little trip
I open up my KI to check and see
what somebody sent to me
and when I turn around in my seat
I fall a few thousand feet!
and the final words my friends hear from me
"Screw youuuu Kaaaadiiiiisssshhhhhh!"

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 4:45 pm 
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Mister Cloak, fantastic! Worst scan I have seen a long time, brilliant lack of understanding of poetic use of assonance, and of course, the last line just screams "nails on a blackboard" which is a nicely awful touch.

favourite line: "and now my leather jacket is ruined." Indeed.

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