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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:59 pm 
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OFFICIAL CYAN UPDATE:

The open source release of Uru was completed today, but as we prepared to upload it to a public location, RAWA ran away with the disk drive containing the finished project in his teeth. As a result, we're putting open source Uru on hold until our other projects pan out well enough to pay for a dog catcher for RAWA. Thanks for your understanding, you're the best fans in the world!

Note: Official Cyan Update is not actually provided by Cyan. Batteries not included, do not take without alcohol, game cards do not actually talk.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 4:15 pm 
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OFFICIAL CYAN RETRACTION OF OFFICIAL CYAN UPDATE:

Please ignore that last message. The open source release of Uru is currently scheduled for 3:24pm, July 15, year to be determined at a later date. RAWA has been found, and we have apologized to Mrs. Puffington, our neighbor to the north. The former Cyan employee has finally rewritten the code, but RAWA buried it somewhere in Mrs. Puffington's petunias, and so we have opened negotiations with her concerning our attempts to recover the code. The current sticking point seems to be the number of backhoes we will be allowed.

Note: Official Cyan Retraction is not actually provided by Cyan, nor has it been approved by vidkid7. Batteries were in fact included, but RAWA took those, too.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 4:25 pm 
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OFFICIAL CYAN ADDENDUM TO CYAN RETRACTION OF OFFICIAL CYAN UPDATE:

While the last message indicated that the completed source code was lost somewhere in the Mrs. Puffington's acres of petunias, the intern responsible regrettably forgot to mention that Ms. Cate Alexander refuses to allow us to include her likeness in another release of the game, and as such will have to be recast by Ms. Miley Cyrus. We will address this in the canon as the result of Ms. Alexander's urgent departure to the surface being for her scheduled third facelift.

Note: Official Cyan Addendum not actually provided by Cyan, but the aforementioned intern has been thoroughly flogged. No other interns were harmed in the making of this addendum. Soundtrack on LP and Compact Disc from SWN Records.

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Last edited by vidkid7 on Tue Jul 14, 2009 10:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 4:51 pm 
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OFFICIAL CYAN CLARIFICATION OF OFFICIAL CYAN ADDENDUM TO CYAN RETRACTION OF OFFICIAL CYAN UPDATE:

By "intern", we mean the guy who delivered the doughnuts and then stayed to help us debug the new code that unlocks the secret places we never got around to revealing in the last Uru. By "Ms. Miley Cyrus", we mean someone who looks like her but isn't really her. And by "canon", we mean a contrapuntal composition that employs a melody with one or more imitations of the melody played after a given duration. Further communications will be more carefully screened by the other "intern".

Note: We want to clarify that the Official Cyan Clarification is not provided by Cyan. Tear along Side 1 and 2, and then fold and tear along side 3.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:14 pm 
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As part of Cyan's new "100% Transparency" initiative, all internal memos will be available for the fanbase to pore over every tiny detail, just in case for some reason we feel the need to pass around hidden secrets within the office.

Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 070409 / 001

To The Intern:
In your last public statement you stated that Ms. Miley Cyrus was not going to be filling in for the role of Ms. Cate Alexander. If this is true, who exactly has been showing up on the cameras running into the elevator and changing wigs on their way to the next floor? And more importantly, what does this mean in regards to the 1.4 million "MontanaBucks" in funding that we received for Uru 2: Electric Boogaloo?

Additionally, I know that you've been stealing my lunch and eating it down in the D'ni archives. I realize that you don't get paid enough for your daily allotment of twinkies, but wiping your mouth on the unrepaired clothing stock is juvenile and destructive. Please mind your actions, this is a professional environment, and today's disc golf tournament was interrupted for this.

The Community Manager and Howling Monkey Listener

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and was in fact printed on a standard red Prisoner Release Form. Official Memos are printed on Presidential Prisoner Release Forms. Those are blue.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:44 pm 
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Have to go pick up my dance shoes now. hope the howler loses his internet connection... :P
10:40AM July 14 from TweeterMagneto

@IamBonkers4Cyan no no no no no no
10:18AM July 14 from TweeterMagneto in reply to IamBonkers4Cyan

what a pain. howler is on my back.
10:15AM July 14 from TweeterMagneto

@IamBonkers4Cyan what part of no don’t u understand?
9:55AM July 14 from TweeterMagneto in reply to IamBonkers4Cyan

made a big funny in the update thread. take that
9:53AM July 14 from TweeterMagneto

@IamBonkers4Cyan i said no
9:29AM July 14 from TweeterMagneto in reply to IamBonkers4Cyan

miley cyrus? I thought we had hired hannah montana. more work for me
9:28AM from TweeterMagneto

@IamBonkers4Cyan No you cant have the code mrs puff is contacting her lawyer
9:23AM July 14 from TweeterMagneto in reply to IamBonkers4Cyan

that should show em whos boss
9:16AM July 14 from TweeterMagneto

who is making these updates? gotta take care of that
9:01AM July 14 from TweeterMagneto

Note: This Tweeter feed has been approved by the International Association of Bird Seed Manufacturers, but not by Cyan. Tune your radio dial to 14.4 Ghz, and then stand back.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:24 pm 
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thanks - I needed that

Note:This is an official reply from an Official Explorer to all of the above posts. :P

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:57 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Achenar / 070409 / 002

To The Tech:
I can no longer access any networked facilities from my workstation. Any attempts to access the internet or even other systems inside the building result in a spinning beachball followed by one of several error messages:

16431: Tubes unavailable, would you like to switch to Truck mode?
16293: Bodger's clogged up the tubes again!
16393: Something about shooting evil seeds and to go forth. (This one never stays open long enough to read)

I'm not sure what's going on, I've got the Heek Security Scan running at all times, as well as bringing up the waffle iron password screen when I stepped away this morning. If you can get my main machine back online, that'd be great. Thanks.

The Community Manager and Braying Animal Translator

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and was originally scrawled on a series of rainbow colored sticky notes stolen from the supply closet.

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 8:30 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Spock > Kirk / 070509 / 003

Captain's log: Starship Enterprise Stardate: 62974.9

Just so everyone knows, the Star Trek slumber party that we've been spending all our time planning has been officially postponed due to Mysterium coming at the end of this month. I know that Mark and Tony were really looking forward to seeing Rand in his Uhura costume again this year, but the two events of Star Trek and Mysterium just won't blend together well. Just blame the interns. There's always next month to spend all the iMyst money on a party... LotR anyone? I call Frodo!

The Precious is mine... Love, The Receptionist

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and was probably discombobulated upon beaming up. Live long and prosper.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:05 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Spock / 071409 / 004

To The Receptionist:
Once you've finished beaming up, could you send The Courier to the post office? The higher ups are expecting a proof of The Book of Marrim from the publisher, and it was due to arrive on Saturday. I'm suspecting that the package carrier didn't know the correct frequency required of the crystals in order to open the drop box, and he probably returned the package to the post office.

Don't go stealing anyone's rings, some of the team in more committed relationships would probably be upset by this.

The Community Manager and Umbrella Man Protector

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and due to technical difficulties had to be sent via airmail. Unfortunately, due to bad paper airplane skills, it arrived several minutes later than it should have.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:11 pm 
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Official Cyan Internal Memo: Cho > Bodger / 140709 / 003

Bodger, what the heek is going on with the forums? You said you'd get an informational post out next week, but that was 6 months ago! And don't think that "Slip" with the database went unnoticed.

I know the fans are a ravenous bunch, who will leap upon any kind of message and tear it apart like ravenous piranha, but believe me, deleting the website is not the best way of dealing with their ire. Don't you remember last time that happened? The calls took down the Washington switchboard for a week, and the letters brought the USPS to it's knees! We still have a 40-foot container of mail we've yet to crack open out back! Still, all that paper keeps the furnace burning bright, so we've saved a fortune on our power bills.

Anyway, get something out there to appease the masses, or we'll have a full scale revolt on our hands, and it'll be Until Uru all over again!

Cho.

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WARNING: may cause cirrhosis of the liver, inflammation of the brain, heart damage, pancreatic damage, kidney damage, spleen implosion or explosion, thyroid combustion, severe nasal hair growth, blindness, eruptia, pregnancy, infertility, fecal incontinence, impotence (AKA "Just Bobbing Your Dole"), loss of genitalia and/or hermaphroditism, hair loss, skin blemishes, bone deformity, throat cancer, ulcers, hangnails, bladder leakage, sores, scabs, elephantiasis, hepatitis, conjunctivitis, gingivitis, appendicitis, bronchitis, and/or athlete's foot. Not recommended for children, adults, senior citizens, animals, insects, plants, or dead people.

Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Do not belch Hydrogen Beer (tm) near open flame. Driver does not carry more than $20 in cash (he is married). Operators are standing by. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle. Remove before flight. Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball. For indoor or outdoor use only. Remember: objects in the mirror are actually behind you. RTFM. YMMV. TANSTAAFL. INAL. IMHO. Branches from the nearby foliage or geological specimens may fracture my skeletal structure; however, inaccurate descriptions of my physical appearance, heritage, or personality cannot damage my psyche. I didn't do it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

No game show contestants, Tupperware representatives, cork sockers, sock tuckers, corn shuckers, chicken pluckers, double-clutching mother truckers, overpaid doctors, toilet paper roll winders, people named "Elmer Joe," Kirby salespeople, Psychic Friends Network employees, condom testers, or anal thermometer quality assurance personnel were harmed in any way either physically or mentally during the making of this post.

This disclaimer complies with proposed U. S. federal requirements for disclaimers Section 301, Paragraph (a)(2)(c) of S. 1618, which mandates, among other things, a free salad shooter if you call in the next five minutes.


I think that just about covers everything...

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:25 pm 
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Posts: 152
Posting on official Cyan Worlds, Inc. conference room[size=0]http://www.rivenchan.com/HexIsle_miscOsmo.html[/size]whiteboard:

Any text or graphics on this white board that should be preserved should be "flagged" as such by surrounding said text and/or graphics with a red line and writing the phrase DON'T ERASE in all caps, in red somewhere within the boundaries of the red line. No text or graphics within the red line should be erased except by the person who originally wrote the phrase DON'T ERASE. Furthermore, the phrase DON'T ERASE should not be modified or adjusted in any way that causes the phrase to be obscured, except by the person who originally wrote the phrase DON'T ERASE. And even furthermore, the red line that surrounds the aforementioned text and graphics should be considered to be part of the preserved graphics. And still furthermore, any inadvertent breaks in the surrounding red line less than ten inches should not be considered to have broken the surrounding nature of the red line. Fixes to any breaks are permitted and encouraged by any person. The surrounding red line is encouraged to be convex. And yet even furthermore, the surrounding red line cannot be modified in any way that might cause its purpose to be confused except by the person who originally drew the red line. If the person who originally wrote the phrase DON'T ERASE cannot be located or determined after an appropriate amount of effort, the president of Cyan Worlds can be requested to act on behalf of said person. "Fixes" (as mentioned previously) to the red line should be made to closely approximate the original location of the line. Where the original location cannot be determined the fix should be made so as to draw as short of a red line as possible to achieve the fix. The term "erase" means to remove or to make illegible or unrecognizable. The color "red" shall be interpreted to consider the range of shades traditionally in the red category as well as shades that tint toward blue/red or yellow/red. Further, anything drawn or written with the marker labeled as red should be considered as red even if the shade is affected by blending with other colors already existing on the board. Although not required a date should be included that indicates the last modified date. 3/20/07

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Last edited by quahog42 on Wed Sep 09, 2009 10:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:26 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 1:44 am
Posts: 1282
Location: Orlando
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Katran > Cho / 071409 / 006

To The Legal Advisor:
You DID remember that all of our correspondance will be publically available as of this morning, correct? Just saying, it's probably not the best to announce that their correspondance has been one of our main ways of cutting costs. Let's not EVEN discuss the plaque and all of the journey cloths we've received...

Also, the amount of paper that you used to have that chunk of lawyer talk delivered to everyone's desk will probably get removed from your paycheck when The Manager sees it. On a related note, The Manager will be bringing in supplies for milkshakes tomorrow. I suspect that this will bring all of the boys to the yard.

The Community Manager and Possibly Voltron's Left Leg

Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and is 80% more paper and pixel efficient than the previous memo. And could The Tech hurry up and get me back on the network?

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The Age Linker's Guide
It is up to you to create your own adventures today!


Last edited by vidkid7 on Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:32 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 09, 2006 9:34 pm
Posts: 306
Location: Geordieland UK
May or may not contain nuts..


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 9:34 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2006 8:53 pm
Posts: 138
Location: Rochester, NY
Official Cyan Internal Memo: Egg Salad > Katran / 071409 / 007

To The Community Manager and Braying Umbrella Howling Monkey Animal Man Translator Protector who Listens:

I'll try sending the courier to the post office again with the memo "Try moving the slider" highlighted in neon green and written in seemingly urgent looking handwriting, but i can't make any promises. Mr.Puffington at the post office is still upset about the incident with RAWA and his wife's petunias. Did we ever get a new RAWA leash? I'll send the courier to Big Al's Pet Emporium and used car outlet as well if need be. Let me know soon so we can get the courier going. I'm anxious to see myself what the publisher thinks about the fourteen extra chapers on how it isn't easy being green that were stuck in there at the last minute in TBoM.

You're just jealous you don't have a ring that I can steal.

Your honey-bunches of oats and grains, The Receptionist.


Note: This Official Cyan Internal Memo is not provided by Cyan, and was delivered by a swallow with a high airspeed velocity. It was neither African nor European.

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